It's been a while...

"It's been a while"

Today it might be about this blog coz it really has been awhile since I've posted anything here, but in another light it could be my "new" job.

Take note of the quotation marks, because the thing is I'm not really in a new job, same account, just a different job title and responsibilities. It's nice to be back though. I've always seemed to enjoy doing helping people in one way or another and I guess being paid to do it makes it all that much more rewarding.

Thinking back I started doing tech support some 3 odd years ago more or less. That was when I started in Sykes. I did support for MSN internet access. Those were fun days, difficult at times, and sometimes you just wanted it to stop, but despite everything it was fun. I won't be a hypocrite and say that there weren't times when I wished that the calls would just stop coming in but all in all I enjoyed that life. :) Eventually I moved from actual customer support to a support function. Being a Quality person was alright but it wasn't as rewarding as hearing the gratitude in a person's voice when you manage to fix something.

That was more than a year ago, MSN IATS Voice is no longer one of our accounts, and I am in a new account now. Well I've been in a new account for a little over a year already, and if all goes well I don't plan on going anywhere else for the mean time.

It's back to tech support and back to being a newbie. I don't like not knowing how to deal with issues that come my way but that's just part of it. I know in time I will, and should get better, but I just wish I could get there faster. I want to be able to give my best and address issues properly as they come. It might sound idealistic, and some people might say that I only feel this way because I'm new, but I don't think so. I have always felt a certain responsibility to my customers, I have always believed that if you take the trouble to answer a person's call for assistance, then it is your responsibility to give everything that you can. Well that's enough of my discordant ramblings for now, but before I go I'll leave a few lines from a song that I'm listening to right now because its so cool. I wouldn't mind wishing for the same thing too.

From: Kill Hannah
The Song: Lips Like Morphine

I want a girl with lips like morphine
Blow a kiss that leaves me gasping
I want to feel that lightning strike me
And burn me down

Cool aint it.

A Fishy Habit

Its been a while since I've updated this blog. Back in the days I used to bitch and whine, right now i dont feel like doing that as of the moment. I'll just blog about my new fishy friends. On November 6, 2005 I purchased 21 African Cichlids during a 4 petshop tour. That was technically 10 days ago. I managed to pick up the following to restock my 75 gallon tank.

• 4 Blue Ahlis
• 4 Electric Yellow Labs
• 6 Kenyis
• 4 Auratus
• 4 Johannis

10 days after I have lost 1 Electric Yellow and 2 of the Blue Ahlis, I have no idea why they died but they just went belly up on me. I doubt it it was because of aggression because they have not reached the violent size yet. Despite the setback the rest seem to be thriving. They are active and seem to be constantly hungry, which is a good thing. In the coming months i have this inkling that they will go postal and manage to kill of some of their number but considering what they are it can be expected. Hopefully though their numbers will stop them from killing each other. Well this is it for now I guess this is just my attempt to make sure i can look back and figure out how old they are when that question bothers me.

Madagascar

Just watched the animated flick Madagascar with my sister yesterday, and I have to admit I still have that stupid song playing in my head. Aside from the "move it, move it...", that keeps on playing in my head the movie was actually pretty good. There was one part about it though that I found disturbing. If any of you get a chance to see it I guess you would find the part where the croc made short work of the little duckling disturbing too. Loved the penguins though, they were just so cool. Well that's it about the movie, just wanted to comment on it.

Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness...

Just had breakfast with my closest friends in Sykes, it was actually fun to just be able to sit around talk and laugh about life and each other once again. The only sad part is I ended up with the shortest straw in this one. Laughing about each other's misfortunes should be helpful in exorcising the ghosts of the past but unfortunately for me it just took the scabs off the wounds and left them bleeding again.

Here we go again...

Sunday the beginning of another week, didn't really get a lot of sleep awhile ago. Spent too much time playing Digital Devil Saga on the PS2. One of the few things I look forward to these days. 47 is the magic number for this week and I have no idea how much more of this I can take. It's different these days I don't feel like getting up for work anymore. It used to be fairly easy all I had to do was shake the sleep off and I'd be good to go, not these days. Every time I wake up I feel like I have cement boots. I don't wanna go, it's almost as bad as school. 2 years I have given to this account and almost all that time I had believed in what I did, now I'm not really sure. I understood the reason why I had to go back to being a Quality Coordinator and the circumstances surrounding that really didn't bother me all that much. Unfortunately a couple of days ago they let me sign my PMP after four months, it was 2.9, then the next day they let me sign the documents stating that I had failed to meet the requirements and I would have to assume my old job. Sounds kinda trivial doesn't it, cause it's just some documents but I can't help but feel slighted by it. I guess it's the fact that it's on paper now and that I feel like all my work had been taken for granted. It wasn't even stated that I was evaluated 2 months early and that it wasn't even my fault. Right now I'm annoyed and I'm really trying to give myself a reason to go on and give my best everyday, I don't like performing at a level I know isn't my best but right now I don't really give a fuck.

Looks like Im headed for a breakdown...

I think I've about reached the point of burning out. I need a break the last 8 something months of life hasn't been very good. Honestly sometimes I wish it would just come to a grinding halt. Yes there have been some good times but they have been few and there has definitely been more bad than good. I'm starting to sound like a jaded little bastard, but I cant help it. I just can’t help but think that life has somehow decided to play a cruel fucking joke on me. I've had my share of sins against people, but somehow I wonder if the sheer magnitude of my karmic boomerang is actually proportional to the things I have done, because right now it seems like it has the wingspan of a goddamn 747. Bitching has always been therapeutic for me in one way or another, but the funny thing is the person that I've always confided in is also the one I have sinned the most against. I remember the times when we would just go to Starbucks and I would just go on and on about the most inane or insignificant thing that would have somehow ticked me of at one time or another. Well I guess I've always just needed time to shoot my mouth off every now and then cause if I keep it all inside I would probably be more than just a little unwell. Hmm, this little entry seems to be taking a Matchbox 20 theme. Going back I guess this melancholy mood of mine might have also been triggered by the fact that I let myself get talked into finally really taking a good look at my last supposed birthday gift from her, it was a watch in a little orange tin box. In this case it probably was my Pandora's box. I don't think I ever really did forgive myself for hurting her so much, and its actually funny how it still tears me up right now how I could have done that to her. I've justified it a million times and considering everything it was the right thing to do, and like I've always told myself the circumstances surrounding that particular chapter in my life just wasn't very pretty. Well I can’t change the past and what's done is done. All I really want now is a break, maybe a really long one. I need peace of mind, a reason to get up that isn't reaching a set number of quality monitors. There has got to be something more to life, hopefully I find it soon before I get fed up with everything, because right now I seem to be running out of reasons to want the clock to keep ticking. The acronym R.I.P. is starting to look very very attractive...

The Direct C shift team my family at work
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